For anyone not aware of my situation, me and my husband are currently still living 4000 miles apart from each other. It’s been this way for over 2 years now and we’re going through a year long visa process so I can go and join him in America as a permanent resident (read more about how our story began HERE). So I’m no stranger to solo travel. I met the other half while travelling solo in Jamaica, we spend hours alone on flights, we only see each other in person a few times a year and he’s lovely enough to not hold me back from travelling when we can’t be together. But being married has changed my view on solo travel.
I have just come back from a trip to Mexico with him. We met ‘across the border’, I flew in from London, he flew in from Chicago, as it’s advised that during the process I shouldn’t really try and get into The States. On the flights (one took 12 hours), I found myself getting bored and missing his company, the last time I flew long haul was on our Honeymoon to the Maldives. Even though flights are generally quite solitary as the majority of the time is spent attempting to sleep or watching in-flight entertainment, when flying with a partner, personal chair space isn’t so much an issue anymore, you can share each others leg room and happily share the arm rest. I had no one to fob my nasty in-flight meal, plastic cheese to in return for an unwanted chocolate…a bit like playground snack swapping in school!
When Things Go Wrong
When things go wrong, they don’t seem as bad when you have company, for example in Mexico, we had a mix up of what terminals we were landing in, my flight was delayed and we missed the transfer bus to a hotel that was nearly an hour away from the airport. We figured it out together, it was annoying that we had to fork out the extra money for an extortionate taxi ride but in the end we laughed about it. These things happen but to us the most important thing was we had managed to find each other, that’s all that mattered.
I also slipped over on the tiled floor of the hotel that had got wet in the rain…Jesse caught me with his cat like reflexes before I fully hit the deck, if I was alone, I’d have ended up with a very numb bottom!
Having Someone to Share Experiences With
When travelling solo, I document my experiences by taking photos, then I’ll video chat or share my experiences once I’m home. I’m happy in my own company, I can just sit somewhere and read for hours, but it is fun being able to share the world with someone else and see their reactions too. While in Mexico, we went on an excursion to Xplor (I’ll be writing about this in detail in a future post!), where we zip lined in Tandem, took turns in driving around an off-roading course, paddled a 2-person raft through underground caves (which we absolutely SMASHED! We were on fire! Our team work is great if I do say so myself!). It’s the type of place I probably would have still visited if I was alone but I certainly had a different experience having a partner with me.
In the time that I’ve been with my other half, I love listening to the way he talks about travel now. He’s not quite on my level yet, and I accept that he may never love travel to the same extent as me and I’m completely fine with that, but it’s changed his opinion on certain places and has opened his eyes up to the world and I can’t wait to share it with him.
It’s not even a case of having someone to split costs with, now we’re married it’s almost like our money is the same. He has a mortgage and bills to pay, I’m currently living at home. I have more disposable income, so I foot the majority of the travel bills for the both of us and I’m completely fine with that.
Future Solo Travels
Before I emigrate to America, I have a couple of European city breaks with family members and a week long Solo trip to Croatia. Of course I’m still excited to go but part of me wishes he could come too and we could share it together, especially as the more time we spend together it just makes us stronger as a couple. There’ll also be times in the future when it’ll make more sense for me to visit home alone if we’ll be pushed for cash etc or if he’s busy working I might go off exploring my new surroundings alone and I’m happy to do that. If he’s lived there all his life, I wouldn’t expect him to necessarily want to go and look at something for the millionth time just because I’ve not seen it before.
I’ve learnt that being married also puts you in a strange mindset when it comes to income. There’s a sense of you both earn an income so therefore are entitled to spend it exactly how you want, you worked hard for it, you can spend it how you want. But then there’s the responsibility of being in a marriage, it’s a shared effort. He had his mortgage before we met, I’ll be moving into his house, but it’s unfair to expect him to carry on paying all the bills and I’m just spending all my income going away and having fun travelling (obviously things like cars/phones/food are bills I’d be responsible for). So rather than just paying living bills 50/50 and then splitting travels 50/50, I have no problem at all just paying for the both of us. I like having my husband as a travel buddy 🙂