Communicating as a Long Distance Couple


Sometimes the smallest of things help to make our lives so much easier as a long distance couple.  There is an over lap in when the UK and the USA change the clocks so twice a year we have the ‘luxury’ of a 5 hour time difference instead of a 6…and it’s brilliant.  One of the most annoying comments we’ve had to put up with is “you don’t really know each other”, I couldn’t disagree more.  We have to rely completely on communication.  We message every day and once a week we’ll FaceTime for at least a hour, we have to rely on our personalities and interests to be able to find THAT much to talk about!

Lets start with the boring stuff.  The tech.  Just in the 2 years we’ve been together, the use of the technology we now use, has made it so much easier for us.  Even though we have each other’s ‘foreign’ phone number we rarely use them because of the expense of the international plans, so because we met in real life rather than on an internet communication platform, we decided FACEBOOK MESSENGER would be the cheapest option for us.

The tech we had when we met:

2 brick phones that had www. browsing capabilities.

1 Macbook Laptop and 1 iPod touch (book use of wifi only)

The tech we have 2 years later:

2 iPhones

2 Macbook Laptops

These alone have changed everything.  When were using the brick phones, messages sent from Facebook Messenger would never come through with a notification sound, we had to physically enter the browser, type in and see if we’d received a reply or not.  It was a pain, sometimes you’d miss each other being online by literally minutes.  When I first got my iPhone I was so excited to get notifications each time Jesse messaged, it felt like we were just a normal couple that could actually just text each other!

The apps themselves have grown too!

  • FACEBOOK MESSENGER we send each other silly videos, photos, cartoons, we can make each other smile without needing to speak face to face.
  • On FACEBOOK we can share public ‘quote’ pictures and because we both love music, we often link YOUTUBE videos to each other of songs we’ve heard and think that the other may enjoy too!
  • SNAPCHAT is brilliant, being able to receive ‘real time’ photos of each other doesn’t make you feel like such a stranger, we can see what each other looks like that day (Jesse constantly changes whether or not he has a beard!), we can see what the weather is like, places we are etc etc.
  • A permanent in our relationship has always been FACETIME, obviously there are other video chat options but because we both had Apple products, it made the most sense to use that.  We always make the effort to do extra video calls on special occasions, such as: Valentines Day, Birthdays, Christmas (I watched his family open their presents on Christmas Day!), he even watched the midnight London NYE firework display with me on the TV…that year he experienced New Years twice because 6 hours later it was his turn in America!  It’s also not just a case of only being able to video call when we are sat on our sofa at home, we have been able to video chat all over world.  Jesse ate with us in a hotel restaurant in California while I was on holiday with my family…I had him balanced on the window ledge, he came to Iceland with me, he took me to a camp ground with him, I’ve been on his boat while he was on the Mississippi River, he kept me company at London Gatwick Airport while I was waiting for a flight at 3am (it was 9pm for him because of the time difference), and that’s just a few!  Of course it’d be better if we were experiencing these things together but having it this way is better than not at all!

We talk about everything under the sun, it’s not just “Hi, what are you up to”.  We discuss differences between our countries, future plans, he laughed at me trying to pronounce random town names in Iowa with the use of Google Maps!, he watched the whole UK Top Gear series with me before it was even released in the States, as mentioned music is important to us so we play each other songs, Jesse has even performed little gigs for me as he plays guitar and the drums…one particular song ended up being the first dance at our wedding.

  • There’s also the old school option of MAIL! I’ve sent him a postcard on my travels, I posted his birthday presents this year and watched him open them (last year I was in the States to do present swap in person!) and he sent me flowers on Valentines Day…that by pure chance turned up while we were Facetiming!

So we don’t really know each other?  Sometimes our relationship is pretty cool 🙂


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